7 Mistakes We Make When Raising Our Children

7 Mistakes We Make When Raising Our Children

Parenting is probably one of the most significant responsibilities you’ll have, yet there’s no manual to guide you. Every parent-child relationship is unique, so you walk on uncharted territory with every kid. While there aren’t any instructions for proper parenting, some mistakes are bound to impact the kids profoundly. Overcoming these seven mistakes will help you become a more effective parent.



1. Having Unrealistic Expectations

When you expect too much from your children, you might create problems. For instance, if you get frustrated with your 2-year-old because they aren’t interested in potty training, you’ll put too much pressure on them. Another example of an unrealistic expectation is assuming that your teenager shouldn’t be moody or losing your cool because your 6-year-old is wetting the bed. Take it a day at a time and consult the doctor when your child doesn’t meet the expected developmental milestone.


2. Not Allowing Your Child to Explore

7 Mistakes We Make When Raising Our Children

Since birth, you have been on a learning curve – and so is your little one. As children grow up, playing becomes an effective means of learning, leaving them hurt or bruised. However, the fear of getting hurt shouldn’t be a reason to stop them from exploring tukif. Allow your child to pursue their curiosity, try out new things and learn from their mistakes.


3. Always Saving Them from Failure

As a parent, watching your child struggle through challenges you can quickly fix is not easy. However, saving them all the time denies kids the opportunity to learn from failure. For instance, if your kid performs poorly in school, doing their homework does more harm than good. You’d better help them understand the concepts or talk to their teacher about the challenges.


4. Not Fixing Problems

Some parents endure months or years of frustration by not taking the proper steps towards solving issues. You may assume that some problems can’t be fixed or quickly accept them. Whether it’s bedtime battles, temper tantrums, or frequent night awakenings, finding solutions is better than putting up with the challenges. Although it requires extra effort, most problems you face as a parent can easily be worked through, fixed, or changed.

5. Not Setting Rules or Limits

It may seem like you love your kids more by letting them do whatever they want, but you are doing them a great injustice. Children need to differentiate good from bad, and only you can teach them. Create routines to help them know what to expect throughout the day. As they grow older, make sure to discipline them accordingly. That way, you will set them up for success


6. Not Empathizing with Your Child

When a challenging situation arises, the best thing to do is empathize before reacting. Put yourself in your kid’s shoes by understanding where they are coming from. If your child is angry, frustrated, upset, or crying, they don’t want to make your life harder. Understand that they are having a hard time and don’t know how to cope.


7. Preaching Without Practicing

Every parent has had that moment where they asked their kids to do one thing while doing the complete opposite. Children consider their parents to be role models, so they imitate you. For instance, if you warn your child against eating junk or excessive screen time, ensure you follow suit. While at it, take the time to explain why the foods are harmful instead of giving instructions only.

Childhood is a time for discovery, fun, and play – please don’t rush your little one. Stay calm and enjoy every moment because everything moves so fast. Now that you know the common parenting mistakes, you are all set for successful parenting!

How Couples Can Manage Their Money and Avoid Conflicts

couple leaning on wall

Whether you are newlyweds or married for 20 years, money problems can be a significant relationship killer. Having a prenuptial agreement is not a guarantee that you won’t have financial conflicts with your spouse. Luckily, conflict resolution in relationships is not complicated if both parties are willing to iron out their differences. Here’s what you can do to eliminate the financial crisis in your marriage.

1.     Talk about Money

According to a survey by Ramsey Solutions, couples who say they are happy in their marriage are twice as likely to discuss financial matters as those in crisis. That is why you should have weekly or monthly sit-downs with your partner to talk about budgeting, paying bills, and goals.

Establish ground rules so that your discussions don’t turn into fights or arguments. Check out these suggestions to guide your porno conversations:

·         Commit to working as a team

Even if you run separate accounts, remember that you are in a union, so you should have common interests and goals. Achieving your plans is easier when you cooperate.

·         Commit to listening

Instead of focusing on explaining your point, work on listening and understanding your partner’s concerns. When you listen to each other, you will communicate better.

·         Commit to transparency

Maintaining openness with your partner can be scary because of fearing what they will think of you. However, lies and omitting vital details will only erode trust and prevent you from growing.

2.     Appreciate Your Different Personalities

man in black shirt wearing silver ring

Everyone’s money mindset varies, and opposites usually attract. The chances are that one of you is a nerd and loves working with numbers, while the other is free-spirited and doesn’t like being tied down by numbers. If you are a saver, your partner might be a spender. Although personality differences often cause conflicts, it’s not the actual cause of money problems. Recognize your partner’s differences and then give feedback, encouragement, and positive criticism.

3.     Be Open About Your Earnings

Harboring secrets is a surefire way of creating financial conflicts in your marriage. Be open about how much you make, your savings, and your debts. If you are uncomfortable communicating verbally about this, you can write them a note. Don’t forget to talk about your history with money too.

4.     Share Your Dreams and Goals

If you want to have a successful financial plan as a couple, you should open up about your hopes, goals, and dreams. While you should have individual ambitions, having a shared goal makes your life a couple more interesting. An example of a personal plan is going back to school, while a shared one is buying a home or traveling together after retirement.  

5.     Choose a Fair Payment Plan

man and woman standing in front of sink

Now that you are an open book regarding your financial status and plans, you can now share roles. Not every strategy will be a 50/50 split because you don’t all have the same income. First, make a budget and then consider how much each partner earns. You can then decide who will take care of what bill. Remember to budget for your goals.

As your lives change, so does your financial situation. Always revisit your plan and make necessary adjustments—all the best and cheers to a happy relationship.

Is Living Together Before Marriage Linked to Divorce?

So, you met the love of your life – your soul mate. You are deeply in love and thinking about cohabiting before marriage. Is this a good idea? Let’s explore some facts.

man and woman kissing inside kitchen

Several decades ago, living together before getting hitched was a taboo. Nowadays, many couples are choosing to live with their significant other before committing. Between 1965 and 1974, only 11% of women cohabited with their partners before marriage. The number has risen significantly to 69% between 2010 and 2013.  However, recent studies are out to discourage this trend of porno.

Theories Associated With Living Together Before Marriage

There are 3 major theories explaining the impact of living together before getting hitched. Here is a summary of the theories.

1.      Inertia Effect

Engaged couples should beware of the inertia effect. In this case, couples who live together before engagement have a higher risk for divorce. On the other side, cohabiting after divorce doesn’t significantly impact the chances of separation.

The theory shows that couples who live together before their engagement might have entered a commitment level before ensuring that their goals align. Therefore, this puts them at a higher risk of divorce or marital dissatisfaction.

To establish this theory, a study was conducted in the US, involving 1,050 married women and men between 18 and 34. It established that:

  • 43% of the participants who lived together before their engagement had lower marital satisfaction and were likelier to get divorced than the 16% who cohabited after getting engaged.
  • 18.7% who cohabited before engagement suggested getting separated or divorced at some point in their marriage, compared to 10.2% who didn’t live together before getting hitched.
  • 12.3% of those who cohabited after engagement suggested divorce at some point in their union.  

2.      Sliding vs. Deciding

sitting woman leaning on man's shoulder facing lake during golden hour

The theory deals with how couples commit to the relationship. Some plan on being together after evaluating their compatibility. Others “slide” into the next stage because of the inconvenience of breaking up.

A study involving 1,300 people in opposite-sex relationships in the US concluded that:

  • 70% of the couples lived together before tying the knot.
  • 40% of the partners cohabited in their past relationships.
  • Those among the 40% who married the subsequent partners who they had lived with before marriage reported low levels of marital quality

Many of the couples who had cohabited before marriage said it just happened, thus indicating a “slide” into commitment. Couples who planned on moving in together after establishing that their future goals were aligning reported higher marital satisfaction levels.

3.      The Experience Of Cohabiting Changes Things

In an older study, the researchers concluded that living together before marriage changes marriage and divorce perspectives. It might even lower esteem for marriage, thus making divorce seem acceptable.

The findings are consistent with many psychology studies showing that attitudes are directly related to behavior. In other words, you might change your beliefs to suit your behavior.

adult and girl holding forever scrabble letters during daytime

Should You Live With Your Partner Before Marriage?

The answer is yes and no. Several factors can lead to divorce. However, the findings show that couples should have an honest and transparent conversation before cohabiting. Couples who live together seem to have a better outcome when they make a clear commitment to each other. So, the decision on whether to cohabit lies with you as a couple.